Thursday, November 11, 2010

3 months too long

I've never broadcasted "My Story" over the internet. So, I think today would be the perfect day to do so. I have been iffy about sharing certain things because so many people these days are nothing but nosy. So here's a short version of my heartbreak..

August 10, 2010... 1:00pm..Trav & I met in the doctors office parking lot for my weekly appointment. Little did we know what we were about to go through. Surprisingly they took us right on back into the little ultra sound room, which I was quite familiar with. AND there she was on the screen. As soon as I looked at her, I KNEW. After I asked over & over "Where's her heartbeat, Where's her heartbeat" took the ultrasound tech several minuites to say to me "I'M SORRY BRIDGETT, THERE IS NO HEART BEAT".. those words replay over & over in my head. As I lay there looking at Trav with tears in my eyes I thought, "How could my pregnancy be so perfect & end in such a nightmare"? I just didn't understand what was going on and was in complete shock. We both were. The doctor came in and gave us the speech..."these things do happen, very rare, but it just happens".. How could this just happen? How could this happen to me? Why? .....

August 11, 2010.. 9:45am-after had being induced early that morning, it was finially time to "push".. YES, I actually had to go through labor. I started pushing right before 10 and my sweet baby girl arrived at 10:10am. She was PERFECT in every way possible. I'm so lucky that God picked me to be her mommy. I know some people may read this and think "How can you consider yourself lucky if your baby is dead". However, I wouldn't trade Maddyn for the world. She's changed me, she's molded me into the person I am today, and she has made me a better person.. & for that-I AM LUCKY.

Just a few weeks ago I finally got the blood work results back I have been waiting for so a very long time. After praying day after day for answers, I finally got them!! It seems to be that I have a blood clotting disorder, MTHFR-mutation of gene A1298C. With a daily baby aspirin and extra folic acid during my next pregnancy, I HOPE to overcome this horrible thing. My fingers are crossed..

I ran across a quote a few months back .. "Anyone can make a baby, but it takes someone special to make an Angel" ..I'm very thankful for all the special BLM's (baby loss mom's) in my life. They have helped me a lot in the grieving process & have a very special place in my heart. I know that I will have continued friendships for the rest of my life with some of the amazing women I have met.

AND a BIG Thanks to Angie<3